lately i've been so stressed. the worst part about it is that i cant talk about it whatsoever. i've been missing assignments, i missed a quiz for bio, the hw just keeps piling on, i have practice for games and roll call every other day of the week, the weekends need to be kept open for other events, stats makes NO sense to me, and i get around 4 hours of sleep now. im breaking out like crazy now and try to go without eating now because it hurts hella bad each time that i do now. idk why but whatever. i keep telling myself that this whole process will be worth it in the end but is it really? i dont know what to do. i thought i was already stressed but we havent even had exams yet. im having my first exams very soon and im trying to study but SO many people keep calling. im constantly on the phone now and never have time to myself. i mean i dont want time to myself actually. the time that i want is the time with my gf. shes the only one who can talk to me and make me forget about all the shit in my life and just have fun. shes what basically gets me through the day without completely flipping out. when shit gets hard shes just one call away and she knows exactly how to calm me down.
my time management was working before but now i cant even find time to take short naps like i used to. im not healthy anymore. i used to eat regularly and be able to just do hw early and get to bed early or just relax at home. now im barely home and dont even have time for my friends or family. i used to be able to wake up so early for classes and have time to shower, take my time getting ready, and walk casually to class. now i cant wake up on time, i just brush my teeth without showering in the morning [which means im still sleepy in class] and i cant even shower til i get back home after my first class. to make it worse, im having to add 15-20+ hours of community service to my busy schedule in order to pass up on an exam. in order to do that i have to write two papers also. i dont even know where to start. im at the point where im starting to not care at all and im half-assing literally everything. the one person who i know notices is my gf. she knows im stressed and notices how differently i act.
why is this even harder for me? i feel like i cant even talk to my gf about it. why? cuz she talks to me about her being stressed and i dont want to make this relationship just about me. i love her more than myself therefore i put her before myself. sometimes i pretend like everything is all good and i tell her im going to sleep but i really cant sleep when im tired cuz i have so much on my mind. things that always phase me are the assignments i now have to do weekly and hw. what pissed me off was that i was asked to keep a specific date open for something when i plan on seeing my gf. i miss her. im not gonna lie. if i lost her then my life would fall apart completely. i know some people have specific friends but i dont. i dont have friends that buy me groceries when i have no money to buy anything for a whole 3 weeks. i dont have any friends that would take the time to spend time with me whenever i come to town. i dont have friends that will truly talk to me and care about what im going through. i dont have friends that love me unconditionally. i dont have friends that know how to calm me down just by saying i love you.
another thing that bothers me are the roomies. all they do is bring people over to drink and get high. seriously grow the fuck up and do something productive. stop playing warcraft and actually be a part of student body or join some extra curricular activites. "wanna join me outside to try and crash the party next door?" SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate you. all you do is sleep, eat ravioli, and play wow. i have never seen you do hw. all i see you do is sit around, drink monster, drink alcohol, and watch tv.
anyways it hit me again that i have more hw to do. time for me to go. i doubt anyone will read this even though i sent the link to almost everyone i know but i dont care. that just further proves my point that nobody i know really gives a fuck. i mean that.
my time management was working before but now i cant even find time to take short naps like i used to. im not healthy anymore. i used to eat regularly and be able to just do hw early and get to bed early or just relax at home. now im barely home and dont even have time for my friends or family. i used to be able to wake up so early for classes and have time to shower, take my time getting ready, and walk casually to class. now i cant wake up on time, i just brush my teeth without showering in the morning [which means im still sleepy in class] and i cant even shower til i get back home after my first class. to make it worse, im having to add 15-20+ hours of community service to my busy schedule in order to pass up on an exam. in order to do that i have to write two papers also. i dont even know where to start. im at the point where im starting to not care at all and im half-assing literally everything. the one person who i know notices is my gf. she knows im stressed and notices how differently i act.
why is this even harder for me? i feel like i cant even talk to my gf about it. why? cuz she talks to me about her being stressed and i dont want to make this relationship just about me. i love her more than myself therefore i put her before myself. sometimes i pretend like everything is all good and i tell her im going to sleep but i really cant sleep when im tired cuz i have so much on my mind. things that always phase me are the assignments i now have to do weekly and hw. what pissed me off was that i was asked to keep a specific date open for something when i plan on seeing my gf. i miss her. im not gonna lie. if i lost her then my life would fall apart completely. i know some people have specific friends but i dont. i dont have friends that buy me groceries when i have no money to buy anything for a whole 3 weeks. i dont have any friends that would take the time to spend time with me whenever i come to town. i dont have friends that will truly talk to me and care about what im going through. i dont have friends that love me unconditionally. i dont have friends that know how to calm me down just by saying i love you.
another thing that bothers me are the roomies. all they do is bring people over to drink and get high. seriously grow the fuck up and do something productive. stop playing warcraft and actually be a part of student body or join some extra curricular activites. "wanna join me outside to try and crash the party next door?" SHUT THE FUCK UP. i hate you. all you do is sleep, eat ravioli, and play wow. i have never seen you do hw. all i see you do is sit around, drink monster, drink alcohol, and watch tv.
anyways it hit me again that i have more hw to do. time for me to go. i doubt anyone will read this even though i sent the link to almost everyone i know but i dont care. that just further proves my point that nobody i know really gives a fuck. i mean that.