i still stand by what i said a little over a year ago; the third time is the charm. in fact, my third time really was my lucky charm. like most people say, if it was meant to be then things will work out perfectly and maybe we'll cross each others' paths again one day and lead on to share a life together. then again, other things happen for a reason. maybe i wasnt her lucky charm. maybe her third time around hasnt come around yet. i'll just say im done with this thing called love. im not into it anymore if its not with her. i'll leave it at that.
anyways the true focus of this post is what was brought to my attention a couple weeks ago. i logged onto myspace, yes myspace, with a friend and i noticed one of their friends' display name. it was a name and a date with a picture of a couple. apparently they had gotten together a little over 3 days beforehand and they were......"lovers". i just think its funny how people think love can be established within such a short time span. you cant say "together forever" if youve only been together less than week. i mean sure you can talk for a while and build up a relationship before getting together but hey, if you think youre in love for the first time BUT youre not sure, chances are you probably are not. of course theres the opposing opinion to what i've just stated. honestly, there are rare cases in which people do experience love in very short time periods. why? it has nothing to do with looks but your personalities are simply compatible with each others'.
unfortunately i have had to work the hard way exactly three times. i went through the whole introduction thing, then the talking thing, then the actually getting together thing. i went through it all just like any other person has...but one too many times.
we dont even have a pic together anymore...
yeni. my first basically real relationship. she was fun. she was my mature half. we made plans and promises of course. we planned to prove her parents wrong that we could make it together and we werent just another relationship in each others' lives. we made it through those long nights of crying. we made it through a couple years of high school as well. even with her parents and older sibling breathing down our necks. she wanted to be an interior designer and i wanted to be a psychologist. everything was planned out perfectly. we knew where we'd live, how many kids we both wanted, etc. it was true. she was my other half. she was everything in me that i lacked. she took care of me as if i was the only person she loved. [this shit is making me tear. fk] she worked and i didnt for a while because she wanted to be the mature one and take care of me. she bought me everything i needed or even wanted. even if i really didnt need it. she made sacrifices for me regardless of what her parents said or did. everything was perfect...but guess what? i fucked up. i took her for granted and my world came crashing down on me. she left me because i had messed up. i was too busy to appreciate her because all my time was spent thinking about someone else. in fact. they had been friends. if ever i apologize to you, i would make it so sincere that you could not help but give me a hug and forgive me. however, i cant ask that of you. i would never ask you to forgive me. i dont even think you could forgive me for the way i hurt you. in the meantime..im so sorry. im sorry for not showing you the love that you showed me. do me a favor though. please dont let just any guy take advantage of you. you deserve better than youve ever had. i know youll go on to do big things. youre gonna be someone. i can already tell. <-- this is for not writing you something for your crossing date when nobody else was there.
jasmine. my second love. i dont know what to say. we both didnt even need all that talking shit. we just clicked. i know i lost a lot from my previous relationship but yes you were there to make me feel better. you made it seem as though you were a professional at loving. i know i was your first but you seemed as if you were going down a familiar road. we were perfect. everything was perfect. we were happy just doing our own thing minus the friends and enjoying just each others' company. your mom even loved me. i thought we were it. i thought we'd marry and we'd be so amazing. your mom made me feel so welcome into your home and she even gave me a place to stay when i got kicked out of my own home. thats how welcome i felt. never before had i experienced something like this. i had never had a gf that wanted me to meet her parents so much. even your brother liked me. this surprised me. you know i always wanted a smaller sibling and hey thats how i looked at him, as my younger brother. i wanted to look out for him and make him like me even more. haha i even made him into a hypebeast. anyways. i recall this one day. we went to your place and we were messing around with your camera. we made hella videos and took hella pictures. to my knowledge you still have them saved. which also surprised me. we dont keep in touch anymore because we ended on a bad note. which i regret. i wish we could be friends but we both know that could never happen. it wont ever be the same. i know you took me back before when i screwed up the first time....and i thank you for that. from that day on my goal was to make you happier than ever. i feel as though i had accomplished that goal too. i gave you my all no matter what. i was there for you. i was the one to be counted on. other things started to come up and accusations started building tension within our little crew....i dont know what else to say. maybe itd be better to say in person. but anyways..you of all people should know what i mean and how im feeling. you always were the one and only that understood me. [fk im tearing again]....well yeah..im sorry for hurting you as i did. i regret everything i did to hurt you. i wanted to have a life with you and i promised to make you happy until the day we die together. i obviously couldnt keep all those promises yet again..im sorry. youre beautiful and your personality is amazing. i know theres someone bound to be truly destined for you. he'll treat you well and i know your mom and dad would be happy. good luck in everything that you do. i know youre the independent one but dont be afraid to rely on your loved ones. me being one of those people.
i'll post it one more time. juss cuz
and as for tiffany. my one true true true true love. i think i'll wait to see how things pan out. i love you more than anyone i have ever loved before. youre more than family to me.
anyways the true focus of this post is what was brought to my attention a couple weeks ago. i logged onto myspace, yes myspace, with a friend and i noticed one of their friends' display name. it was a name and a date with a picture of a couple. apparently they had gotten together a little over 3 days beforehand and they were......"lovers". i just think its funny how people think love can be established within such a short time span. you cant say "together forever" if youve only been together less than week. i mean sure you can talk for a while and build up a relationship before getting together but hey, if you think youre in love for the first time BUT youre not sure, chances are you probably are not. of course theres the opposing opinion to what i've just stated. honestly, there are rare cases in which people do experience love in very short time periods. why? it has nothing to do with looks but your personalities are simply compatible with each others'.
unfortunately i have had to work the hard way exactly three times. i went through the whole introduction thing, then the talking thing, then the actually getting together thing. i went through it all just like any other person has...but one too many times.
we dont even have a pic together anymore...
yeni. my first basically real relationship. she was fun. she was my mature half. we made plans and promises of course. we planned to prove her parents wrong that we could make it together and we werent just another relationship in each others' lives. we made it through those long nights of crying. we made it through a couple years of high school as well. even with her parents and older sibling breathing down our necks. she wanted to be an interior designer and i wanted to be a psychologist. everything was planned out perfectly. we knew where we'd live, how many kids we both wanted, etc. it was true. she was my other half. she was everything in me that i lacked. she took care of me as if i was the only person she loved. [this shit is making me tear. fk] she worked and i didnt for a while because she wanted to be the mature one and take care of me. she bought me everything i needed or even wanted. even if i really didnt need it. she made sacrifices for me regardless of what her parents said or did. everything was perfect...but guess what? i fucked up. i took her for granted and my world came crashing down on me. she left me because i had messed up. i was too busy to appreciate her because all my time was spent thinking about someone else. in fact. they had been friends. if ever i apologize to you, i would make it so sincere that you could not help but give me a hug and forgive me. however, i cant ask that of you. i would never ask you to forgive me. i dont even think you could forgive me for the way i hurt you. in the meantime..im so sorry. im sorry for not showing you the love that you showed me. do me a favor though. please dont let just any guy take advantage of you. you deserve better than youve ever had. i know youll go on to do big things. youre gonna be someone. i can already tell. <-- this is for not writing you something for your crossing date when nobody else was there.
jasmine. my second love. i dont know what to say. we both didnt even need all that talking shit. we just clicked. i know i lost a lot from my previous relationship but yes you were there to make me feel better. you made it seem as though you were a professional at loving. i know i was your first but you seemed as if you were going down a familiar road. we were perfect. everything was perfect. we were happy just doing our own thing minus the friends and enjoying just each others' company. your mom even loved me. i thought we were it. i thought we'd marry and we'd be so amazing. your mom made me feel so welcome into your home and she even gave me a place to stay when i got kicked out of my own home. thats how welcome i felt. never before had i experienced something like this. i had never had a gf that wanted me to meet her parents so much. even your brother liked me. this surprised me. you know i always wanted a smaller sibling and hey thats how i looked at him, as my younger brother. i wanted to look out for him and make him like me even more. haha i even made him into a hypebeast. anyways. i recall this one day. we went to your place and we were messing around with your camera. we made hella videos and took hella pictures. to my knowledge you still have them saved. which also surprised me. we dont keep in touch anymore because we ended on a bad note. which i regret. i wish we could be friends but we both know that could never happen. it wont ever be the same. i know you took me back before when i screwed up the first time....and i thank you for that. from that day on my goal was to make you happier than ever. i feel as though i had accomplished that goal too. i gave you my all no matter what. i was there for you. i was the one to be counted on. other things started to come up and accusations started building tension within our little crew....i dont know what else to say. maybe itd be better to say in person. but anyways..you of all people should know what i mean and how im feeling. you always were the one and only that understood me. [fk im tearing again]....well yeah..im sorry for hurting you as i did. i regret everything i did to hurt you. i wanted to have a life with you and i promised to make you happy until the day we die together. i obviously couldnt keep all those promises yet again..im sorry. youre beautiful and your personality is amazing. i know theres someone bound to be truly destined for you. he'll treat you well and i know your mom and dad would be happy. good luck in everything that you do. i know youre the independent one but dont be afraid to rely on your loved ones. me being one of those people.
i'll post it one more time. juss cuz
and as for tiffany. my one true true true true love. i think i'll wait to see how things pan out. i love you more than anyone i have ever loved before. youre more than family to me.